I recently had a little fun will my new camera. It's nice to have a camera again. The last one I had was a 2.0 mega pixel that I'd purchased before coming to China in 2002. After arriving in Changchun, my Korean classmate dropped the camera on the ground and it broke. Cameras have come a long ways since then. Haven't we all.

Celebrating 8 years in China, I am thankful for a full life and a growing dream. I'm thankful for love, friendship, kindness and understanding. I'm thankful that I'm no longer afraid of my shadow and realize I am little more than dust that will one day blow in the wind like shavings of a tooth that fly from the dentist's drill.

The waters flow as a river and I a passer by. A sword once too heavy to lift, now strength from on high. My heart is full and spirit burns. The calm burning of old wood, around which sits people, happy and content. Meat, drink and veggies too, a helping hand and a soothing story. The days pass as ones small grow old, eternal chains of blood.

Chinese New Year 2011

The Year of the Rabbit

Crackling creek, is it the floor?
A pop and a boom, has something broke?
Sizzling wing, I think it’s outside;
There’s so much noise this year.

Rush to the window, a bang and a flash;
“Quickly,” I call, to the rest of the gang.
C'mover and look, a crowd gathers round,
Just in time, POW! Another one, bright.

Sunflower, lightning; black curtain, smoke.
Flashes and noises; excited, raised brows.
The New Year is coming; we smile’n cry out,
On with the rabbit, the year of good luck.

Up against the face of time,
pressing to look a little beyond.
Though the seat holds me down,
I look with earnestness to know past what I view.
A seed pushed deep into the ground,
the sprouting of which and a reach.
Peeking out the top of the soil,
a start it is that's all.

Space is a medium. Distance is a measurement. Proximity is a map. What is change?

Finally, there is a way. I'd like to suggest that when a thing is lost, in other words, when the proximity of things is changed and there is limited knowledge as to the location of a thing, that finding that thing is directly related to the time spent looking through space. If one's life is confined to a space 3 meters squared and there is no possibility of the thing which is lost leaving that confinement, then the amount of time spent looking for a thing will be related to the amount of things which must be observed or moved until the whole space or sufficient space has been observed to find that thing.

Imagine an idea is placed within a human mind that a thing has been lost. Then a desire is formed to find it. How will it be found? If the mind is as a confinement, then there is an answer. If a mind has the ability to create ideas which do not derive from actual movement of things as they were observed or experienced then confinement may not be an appropriate way to describe the problem. Finally, what if it does not exists in a form that can be found? Or can not be understood at present even if recalled, thus found.

Again, man as an organism has two primary forces that circulate energy. Energy circulation is what sustains life. Energy is stored within matter or transferred by other means. Once the energy has been absorbed, the matter is rejected. That form of energy absorption is characterized by the pull factor. It is where an organism attempts to fulfill a lack of energy by pulling a source of energy to a location that can change the proximity with the organism as to enable the organism to circulate its energy, thus maintaining existence.

For organisms that do not possess the ability to change their location, pull is essential to the circulation of energy. Perhaps organisms which survive are those which adapt to develop their ability to attract and maintain sources of energy until those source have been extinguished.

If the energy source is sustainable, the organism will bond to the source and the distance will be maintained. If the energy source does not have the ability to change its proximity to the organism, the bond will be maintained for the life of the organism or energy source, or until the organism is approached by a new source of energy that, in comparison to its current source, is offering a benefit that the organism can recognize and establish willingness to change proximity.

For an organism that has the ability to change its location, the number of attainable sources of energy will increase if the organism has the ability to determine the location of energy sources and finds them. The organism is a source of energy and may be pulled by other organisms which may through the change of proximity extinguish the first, unless the first has the ability to sustain or provide more energy than is absorbed by the second.

The movement of things is central to physical existence, being comprised of exchange. Depending upon the ability of one organism to reject energy being drawn, exchanges will vary. What is termed 'win, win' merely shows how two organisms find exchange of energy mutually beneficial; where the proximity enables a harmony of energy exchange.

When an organism believes that it has obtained a proximity that provides substantial benefit it will be less likely to change locations and will maintain proximity.

If the energy source comes in the form of matter, and proximity is directly related to size of space, matter whose energy has been absorbed will be pushed away. Whereas pulling directly affects the proximity of the organism to energy, and therefore changes the proximity of other organisms as well, pushing, likewise changes the proximity of non-energy carrying matter with regards to other organisms.

Pushing can be used as a strategy to interact with intelligent organisms, where a certain package or proximity of benefit can be achieved through exchange. When viewing proximity at its most basic forms, only maintenance of life is reflected. Moving to a larger view, though life is still the main focus, yet a more complex structure gives rise to consider new reasoning.

Needs are proximity patterns which appear to sustain the appearance of the maintenance of life and may actually do that by actually sustaining the life through circulation of patterns at a given rate, or by the idea of it.

What if a person forgets the pattern of proximity that equals maintenance of life? If it does not die, then it will either find life by adapting to a new proximity or it will decide that its formerly maintained beliefs of life-maintaining proximity were not correct, or both. If the idea is forgotten (and is not found) and life continues, then what of the thought?

Perhaps establishing limits to where thoughts linger will both maintain a general proximity that maintains mental life and mental health. Meaning a limitation of breadth. Since a limit of breadth would cause an immediate cause for depth to increase, than to cap that will lead to clarity. Clarity being weighed against breadth or depth, that's an interesting proposition. How useful is clarity, unless something is to be seen in more detail. And would not more detail connote a depth or breadth increase.

No, the mind cannot stop from expanding. Therefore it can either be channeled or left to wander. A thing lost in the mind, a thought for example, could be anywhere. It cannot be found by measuring the space and turning the number of limited objects that reside in that space. And what if what's lost is an idea of a thing that does not exist, or is the idea that something non-existent needs to be found?

The proximity of thoughts could be a reflection of the proximity of things.

The end of one is the beginning of another

Now is the time to wait.

Choose your friends and they will choose what you do

Through the years, I've come to see an idea I'd like to call the proximity theory. At its base, one can know that the thoughts one has producing action are related directly to the distance between oneself and all other things. These things include both that which can be detected by the five senses and that which is picked up at a deeper, emotional level. They also include what we term spiritual or mental.

Some examples. If someone watches (eyes and ears) a frightening movie, sitting close to the television, they may feel frightened and thoughts will be focused upon fear. If someone places a McDonald’s hamburgers close to their body the effect is not very strong, but by putting the burger into the body, thus changing the proximity, the effect is very strong. The people we choose to associate with will have varying influences based on distance; both physical distance--the proximity between bodies--and emotional distance--the closeness of the heart.

Spiritually, people usually feel peace when able to distance themselves from natural or earthly things and move closer to their power source. So you see, the proximity between you and things determines what you are thinking, and thus what you will do. When you are on vacation, your situation changes and so do your thoughts and actions.

The environment that we choose to be surrounded by includes many things that appear because of our direct choices and other things that exist because of the choices of others. In either case, that which appears in our environment which was not our choice gives us the opportunity to accept it or reject it. Thus, all things that we can change are an extension of choice. The things that we can not change are choices made indirectly because of the inability to do something to change them.

I would suggest that humanity is big bundle of needs. Choice is based on need. I sleep because if I didn’t I would die. I eat because if didn’t I would die. I work because I need money. I need money to buy food, shelter, and clothing. I make friends because I need social engagement. I need to feel needed, and wanted, and loved, and safe. I need to feel useful. I need to feel like I’m growing and learning and changing. I need to feel that I’m becoming me.

Most needs fall under physical, emotional, and mental (spiritual). Physical needs are base-needs and most closely relate humans to animals. Sexual desire, as a product of the excretion of hormone, highlights this point. Animals breed, not because of the idea of love or companionship, but because of instinct. Eating and cleaning our bodies are also necessary for healthy survival. Choices made based on physical needs need not be rational according to mentally produced ideas of morality; the boy who steals a loaf of bread; the passion of the night; killing to obtain money. Cultural norms dictate rules of moral conduct. Physical desire or survival needs transcend cultural norms when brought to extremes.

Emotional needs bring humans and animals to stand at the fork in the road. Animals seem to show signs of emotional needs. Puppy dog eyes tell us there is more than physical. To be needed by others, to be loved or appreciated. Emotional needs may move us beyond cultural norms. When an emotional need is so great, a person may choose to forfeit baser needs to achieve them. Thus, a mother feeds her children; a girl runs away with a man. Animals don’t seem to be able to make this leap. Try taking a steak away from a dog.

Mental needs bring man to his highest climb. They give man his humanity. To be able to forgo physical and emotional needs; performing some act because it has been proven to serve some greater principle through experience; to rise above hunger and feed another; to transcend depression and other emotional needs to do what is right. Summing up ones experience and leaving behind the building-block choices of the past to reach higher is the hallmark of acting in concert with mental needs.

Often people talk about finding themselves. In these situations, they make choices that may be different than what was done in the past. Action, as has been explained, is the extension of need. The desire to fulfill need produces action. But the specific action and the specific need have between them something of vital importance--assumption. I am hungry… I assume by eating this hamburger my need will be fulfilled… I eat the hamburger. After this social experiment, the assumption will either be strengthened or weakened. If my hunger-pains disappear the assumption will be strengthened. If the hunger-pains disappear, but I get a stomachache that hurts worse than the hunger-pain, the assumption that the burger relieves hunger-pain will be strengthened, but at the cost of creating a stomachache.

Emotional choices are based on the same principle. I will marry because I have a number of desires. These desires come from the chemical makeup of my humanity that came from my parents and include the physical, emotional, and mental needs previously discussed. These desires are also created by the environment that I grew up in, thus bringing us back to the original proximity theory. Who I am, or what my actions are, is created by the proximity of chemicals in the chemical structure built by my parents and the elements of the environment that I perceive. Again, as humans we are what we do. If I work in a hospital and cure people’s illnesses, I am a doctor. If I provide for the physical, emotional, and mental needs of my children, I am a good father. If I treat my friends poorly, I am a poor friend.

After our desires have been formed within us, we then spend our early-childhood years watching our parents, siblings, and family friends. We listen to teachers and try to understand the world around us. Our perception of the proximity of the elements of our environment created assumptions. These assumptions are strengthened or weakened by our choices. After years of life living, we either become a complete mess by not interpreting the result of action in a way that strengthens assumptions creating action which fulfills desire or we become well-functioning human beings that understand its desire and link them to actions with assumptions.

People that are said to never change are probably those that have found a collection of actions that fulfill basic desires. Once those desires are fulfilled through action there is no reason to change. People who change dramatically or often are probably those whose collection of actions do not seem to fulfill basic desires; and thus new, sometimes dramatic, actions are experimented with based on the assumption that desires may be fulfilled by a new set of actions.

The assumptions that people learn or create are again based on the proximity of that person and the elements of their environment. For example, if I am hungry I eat a hamburger. After eating it I don’t feel that the hunger pain has left. A friend of mine tells me that they once ate a hamburger and were not filled, but after eating a chicken-burger were filled. The person then needs to make a choice. Will he create the assumption that his friend is telling the truth and that the chicken-burger will eliminate hunger-pain, thus eating the burger?

Persuation is a process that occurs as we hear messages from friends and convince ourselves that the proposed action will fulfill desire. Persuation is the creation of assuption. Some ideas would not come to our minds if they had not been introduced by others, but the final action is simply the acception of a given action's assumption being acted upon. Time and experience, or exposure to assumption and the result of action, lead one to believe a certain line of reasoning, while disregarding others.

Cultural norms play a strong part of our assumptions. We are taught by parents and religion and society. Within our heads comes a structure of what we think we need and what we think will fulfill those needs. A person’s experience strengthens or weakens that set of assumptions and helps us understand our perceived needs. Experience is the proximity of me and all things around me set on the timeline of life.

I will make choices this day because of who I have created myself to be. I have become who I am because of the assumptions that I have accepted from the people I choose to be close to and my perception of the result of past experience.

I am what I do. I do what I am. And oh how different my choices may be if I change every thing that I place around me.

Fool's Hill

Dallin H. Oaks, speaking about the “Fool's Hill,” said that once able to get on this little hill one is then able to “with… maturity… glimpse the wider vistas beyond.” The Fool’s Hill is only a small mound, which I thought, when mounting it, was great and awful. That idea combined with advice from a dear friend, that “one should never put the horse before the cart” means: successful completion of the exam yesterday was the start, not the end, of many challenges that are yet ahead. These challenges need to be taken one at a time, in a timely, organized fashion. That friend said, "If we truly believe that God has a plan for our lives, then we should be willing to allow God to work his plan. All we have to do is be diligent and patient."

So, then I’m off to the library. Apparently, there is more to do there.